Caring for Elders While Holding a Job – Balancing Work and Caregiving

You work, you come home and you have another job – caregiving for your older parent or grandparent. You help someone who means everything to you, but you also have to work, and it’s incredibly demanding. You feel exhausted, you are overwhelmed and you don’t have time to rest.

Work can be rewarding, and so is caregiving. But together, they can be a disaster for your wellbeing. You often feel you have too much on your plate, and you want to get a break. However, you’ll need a strategy to balance both your work tasks and caregiving for a loved one.

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How to manage day-to-day tasks

Get organized

You’ll have a lot to handle, and you won’t have enough time to organize everything properly. You must keep track of all your tasks. Create a calendar to help you schedule your tasks, track activities, doctor appointments or other simple issues you need to focus on. Try to make a schedule to include everyone who helps you.

Contact your local agency

Every urban area has a local agency on aging – contact them and explain your situation. They can provide help and may put you in contact with professional caregivers, if required.

Read the employee handbook

Your employer may have special policies for employees who also work as caregivers. Ask about flexbile work options or family leave. Check whether the company has an employee assistance program, which is a great resource for caregivers.

Keep your work separate

Try to separate your work tasks from your personal problems. This will help you become more productive and focus on your work tasks. Take care of your caregiving duties in your personal hours, not during work hours. For instance, schedule doctor appointments during your lunch hours.

Have a backup plan

Don’t do anything in a hurry. Make sure you have a backup plan if something goes wrong. For instance, if there’s an emergency, contact a coworker or a friend to help you. Talk to a co-worker to replace you while you attend to the emergency.

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Talk to your manager

If you are taking care of a loved one, it’s important to be open about it. Talk to your boss – make sure he or she knows about your responsibilities and that you have an important commitment. Also, make it very clear that you are still putting in 100 percent at work and you will still be devoted to the company.

Ask about flexible work opportunities

Flexible work is a great benefit if you are also caring for a loved one. It will make your life easier, and you will still be able to be productive at work. Ask if the company offers flexible work opportunities or if there’s a possibility to work remotely. Data shows that most companies can make this possible – in a recent study, over 68 percent of companies said they are able to make work accommodations for employees who care for elders. Also, ask whether you can work remotely a few days per week. Try to come up with a plan that meets all your needs – this will help you when negotiating with your manager.

Schedule a meeting

These matters should be discussed in a meeting. Don’t bring this up during the lunch break or the coffee break. Talk to your HR representative and manager openly about your needs. Schedule a meeting with everyone involved in the decision-making process.

Make it clear that you are still focused on your job

Whenever you ask for a day off or to work remotely, make sure you explain that work is still your #1 priority. Your boss should be sure that you get your work done according to plan. For instance, if you can’t work during the morning, be open about this, and make sure you can work during the evening. It may be tough for your schedule, but it’s important.

Don’t wait for an emergency

Unfortunately, many people bring this up only when an emergency occurs. Don’t do this, as it can cause a lot of stressful situations at your workplace. For instance, you may not be able to take a day off, or your manager won’t be supportive about your problems. Be open about your personal issues before any emergency occurs.

The FMLA may help you

The Family Medical Leave Act, also known as the FMLA, may help you a lot. Under this legislation, you may be eligible to take up to 12 weeks off every year, without pay. The law has some special provisions:

  • you must meet specific requirements – firstly, you must work for a company that has at least 50 employees, a government agency or school; state laws may include other provisions; you must be employed there for at least 12 months, and must have worked for at least 1,250 hours before taking the time off;
  • you may need to use your vacation first – your employer can ask you to use your vacation time first, in order to maintain FMLA eligibility;
  • you are not required to take your leave all at once – you can take smaller chunks as you see fit, depending on your situation.

Have a contingency plan

Life happens, and a lot of well planned situations can go awry. Try to have a detailed contingency plan for these scenarios. Perhaps even consider having a contingency plan for the contingency plan. Consider everything that can cause problems. For instance, consider every “what if” situation and analyse it in-depth. For instance, think about business travel – what if the company asks you to fly to a different city for a business trip? What if you have an important deadline at work and simply cannot take care of your personal responsibilities? Try to look for help everywhere you can – family members, friends or coworkers.

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